Tuesday, 28 August 2007
Ahoy there yee salty sea dogs, well yoho and blow me down i had a right bunch of scurvy cut throats in last night, all 20 of them from the quiet port of Argassi, they came to ransack and loot kalamaki but were soon brought to heel by my yo ho ho and a bottle of mythos sorry i meant rum. (pieces of eight, peices of eight) Be quiet with you you flea bitten excuse for a bird or i'll feed you to sharks. LOWER THE PLANK!
One of the motely crew (not the fluffy hair rock band) didn't know whether he be a woman or man after he dropped his shorts to show his underwear, i nearly made him walk the plank as it caused sea sickness amongst my regular shipmates, not a sight i want to see again, BRACE THE MAIN SAIL!
(Polly want a cracker) A cracker, a cracker? oh the luxury of a cracker, you'll be next on the plate bird with your "polly want a cracker", "pieces of eight" and "oi! you, w***er".
THERE SHE BLOWS! Time to head of out to sea for a perilous night is ahead, i'm in need of bigger serving quarters as the one i have now on the good ship Oceanic is full every night.
CAST OFF!(not the knitting term) I be off now AHA! (not the 80's norwegian electro pop band)
Monday, 27 August 2007
I'm in a thespian mood today so for the rest of this post i will be typing in the style of william shakespear, I thank you.
Cometh the afternoon when i can no longer caress the sun to my breast i retire to my slumber were the mechanic which chilleth the air doesth blow over me to ease the trials of heat that doeth plague me. Why doeth the rays of light that rain from the sun torture me so on one day then embrace my body the next. Each eve the juice of hop and barley take control and make people be merry for they know the time is nigh to return to the blighted land of home but wish to remain on this fair isle. Why do you mock me oh evil juice, for one moment you are my friend the next my most evil enemy who i wish i could smite with such vengance but the cold touch of thy bottle in my hand sooths my dripping brow. The life i have been given so rich in money, delights and friendship but so poor with Lidl food and greek bombay mix, i feel i haveth been blessed and fortunate to be given this life that i lead and will not stray from path that take me on this journey. oh zakynthos the island i love so much and place high up upon a plinth, you are a good friend of mine and hope you never die.
I thank you lovies, oh please no don't, your very kind.
Thursday, 23 August 2007
Hello, i'm new to this and its very difficult to type as i have to roll over keys with a tooth pick in my air valve until i hit the right key.
Well kevlar has gone off to St. Dennis market to buy some cheap tat, you wouldn't believe how tight he is. Instead of getting a alarm for his apartment he left me sat on top of his wardrobe to guard it all winter. He's only taken me to the pool once all season and up until today i was left behind the bar door, WHAT A GIT!
Saying that he has promised me that he's going to make it up to me by taking me to some places on the island so when he does i'll post the pics, i fancy the Water Park and just floating around the lazy river so we'll see where we end up.
Last season when he took me to the beach with Ajax and kevlars angels i was left to drift away in the sea, i had horrible visions of what happened to my cousin "wilson" when he worked with Tom Hanks on the film "Castaway", the director let him just drift off, luckily for him he ended up in Brazil where there was the world female beach volleyball competition being held, LUCKY SOD! Fancy having all those toned you ladies rubbing they're hands all over you before slapping your behind. Unluckily for me Kevlar saved me.
Well i better roll back to the bar before he gets back to wash the floor. I'd like to hear back from any readers who would like to kidnapp me and adopt me.
Bye for now.
yours begging you
Saturday, 18 August 2007
But the thanks goes out to you, my customers, for helping me by visiting my quiet humble little bar for a relaxing drink and a chat, your all great, cheers folks.
Sunday, 12 August 2007
So how are we all today? Well i've been cleaning my apratment which is now spotless, i've been busier than dung clearer in a elephant cage. My good buddy Ajax (part of the warrior troop) left on friday and also left 4 bags of rubbish by the time i'd finished but it was nice catching up with the wild eyed child at the gates of oblivion.
Business is going really well, not every night is a full house but 5 out of 7 are so can't complain and even with me selling Mythos at 1.50 euro a pint people are still going for the cocktails (all made with original brands) which is great for me at 3 euro a cocktail.
Starting back at the gym tomorrow now the temprature has dropped to a nice level so i'll be back to my tonned golden bronzed adonis look in no time LOL YEAH RIGHT!
John is doing well also but has been stuck behind the door in my bar for the past week, must take him to the beach soon as he is starting to go orange, he's looking more like David Dickinson every day.
Friday, 3 August 2007
A few people have met him and took a shine to him but he watched over my apartment over the winter and had his first dip in the pool this season this week.
The good thing about john is he never complains or moans, he never gossips or spreads rumours and he's always got a smile on his face, maybe we could all learn from John eh folks LOL