Sunday 11 April 2010

Freedom for the Simbec 8!

We're free, yes after 8 whole days of laying in bed, watching Jeremy Kyle every morning, eating 4 meals a day, only allowed 1 shower the whole 8 days we were inside and sleeping in a room with enough methane gas to power a stadium tour by the Rolling Stones, WE HAVE FREEDOM!
Below is a picture of my commrades, brothers in arms, homies, diabetic disciples however you want to call it we were in this together, no snore to loud, no fart to smelly, we stuck by each other for 8 days. Well we had no choice really as all the other wards were full haha!



BAND OF BROTHERS



From left to right are the scruffy, smelly bunch of good guys who laid their waistlines on the line to help sufferers with diabettes.

Decibel Dave - Dave could sleep for Wales and snore for the world record, diamond geeezer!
Frank Skinner (aka jamie) - striking resemblance to a you Frank Skinner, genuine nice kid!
Matt the Muscle - In every gang you need "The Muscle", great bloke (shame about chelsea)!
Quiet man Dan - (behind me) intelegent, polite, quiet, the brains of the bunch, i salute you sir!
Straight Flush Steve - Steves the name, pokers his game, i wouldn't bet against him, A+ Star!
Long legged Lee - My neck hurt just talking to him he's that tall, top man!
Polite Guy Paul - Funny, always in a good mood, keeps your spirits up and my butler, super guy!

Note:- I'm really not that short just all the others are tall LOL!

So we were all wired up to a large biorythm monitor first that we had to connect on to the end of the bed every day and night with wires running to it under the quilt up your body till it connects to your chest, whenever we went anywhere we had to carry it with us, sort of like a terrible looking Man Bag. We had this connected 24 hours a day, when you went to the toilet you had to hang it on the back of the door, you would never imagine how much your heart rate goes up while trying to.......sorry no toilet humour LOL! Also watching Jeremy Kyle can seriously put a strain on your heart and i've tested that theory, my monitor started to beep like crazy as it went over 140 BPM and thats no joke it really did.

THE LARGE MONITOR

Along with our machines that go "BEEP" we were given a gallon bottle that i thought may have been for brewing your own lager, it wasn't for lager but it was for a liquid that has the same colour. Everytime we wanted to use the toilet we had to relieve ourselves in to this bottle but that was only for the first and last day. Polite guy Paul, well lets just say if every there was a water shortage, he's the guy to go and see, he stores like a camel.

MY HOMEBREWED LAGER

On day 6 we were let loose for only 10 minutes to have a quick shower before being wired back up again, the pads they use for the wires are stuck on with skin super glue which is a bugger to get off in 10 minutes and also leaves marks but they eventually go, not a good look for the beaches of Zakynthos.
Then on the last day we switch over to a mini portable monitor which felt weird after the large one as i kept on trying to grab the wire to carry with me but the smaller one clips on your belt all day and night.

HOW DOES A SMALLER MONITOR HAVE MORE WIRES?



Along with a needle a day and 8 needles on the first and last day we all coped amazingly, no problems, no one grew an extra head and no one cried after a needle, although at one point i thought i may have had a puncture cause blood pumped out a little from where the needle had been but as you can tell i survived, it really wasn't that much but it was a surprise.

So for all the diabettics out there this was the story of 8 brave men putting their waistlines on the line to find a tablet that hopefully will help you in some way and if it does our laying in bed all day with 4 meals a day was all worth it.



If i was going on holiday i'd choose Simbec everytime, well over Tunisia i would anyway as Tunisia is the worst place on earth, trust me.
From when you walk in to reception and your met with a big smile from the ladies behind the desk and join in their strange conversation about a fortune teller who told the one receptionist to join a lottery syndicate and she'll be a winner, wow, that is so precise, well worth the money hehe.
Then on to the doctors who are always pleasant but one bit of advice guys, warm that bloody stethoscope up first haha.
A big thank you to Tanya, Maggie and all the nurses for some good banter, their gentle nature and for not bleeding me dry with loads of puncture wounds.
To the security gaurds for being a great laugh and not like the ones in "One flew over the cuckoos nest", i remember being in that clinic. Good job the indian was there to break that window, i escaped just after him.
Last of all the kitchen staff for some really tastey meals and desserts, mmmmm they were all so good, Heston Blumenthal you freak take note, these ladies know how to cook real food.

One down point though, i was well in to Masterchef but football was on the same time as the Final so i decided to watch it the next day on the BBC iplayer, the next morning i woke not knowing who won and was looking forward to watching it when Nurse Tanya waltzes in and blurts out who won, GOD DAMN IT! LOL my poor monitor hit the roof but we had a good laugh about it, i cried when i was alone in the toilet cubicle haha!

See you in November guys.

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