Friday 8 April 2011

Are we sitting comfortably? Then i'll begin.

Well what a time i've had since my last update, everything moving at 100mph and no time to scratch my welsh short ass.



So after being made homeless due to selling the house it was time to move back in with the folks, me to my house and my mum and Helen in to her sisters families house, so great plan by Helen "lets get the f*@k out of here" and visit her friends and god daughter, Diane, Mary, Andrew, Jane, Tracey and Elise in Manchester where she used to live also while there meet up with our friends Leigh, Rachel, Caz, Sam, Steve, Joanne, Nigel, Jeanette, Richard and Trudie. Amen to that sister. So looked for somewhere around Manchester and come up with De Vere Whites Hotel for a knock down price of £39PN from £129PN. Well, what a bloody hotel, excuse my language but i'm a pretty rough and ready type of hotel person, if its got a bed and a shower that'll do for me. One time i stayed in London i stayed in a hotel near Marble Arch so yes it was central for £10 a night but my bed was an ex-prison bunkbed and all fire exits were boarded up. When i got back from London on the Monday there was a Panorama Programme on BBC1 that night called "Deathtrap Hotels" and guess what, mine was on it, well i would never have guessed lol. Anyway as soon as we arrived i could see this was indeed the most upmarket hotel i've ever stayed in, someone like me would most probably only be in there cause i was the cleaner. Then we got to the room and that just made me giggle like a girl, i had a bath robe in the room, What? I couldn't believe it. How sad am i getting excited by a toweling object but i'd only ever seen it in hotel rooms in Bond films and on Dynasty (80's tv show). Then i drew back the curtains and i almost, dare i say it, almost pee'd myself. There in front of me was Boltons Football pitch, not the ground oh no i was actually inside the ground with my room overlooking the pitch. Unfortunately for me there wasn't a game on, also fortunately for the supporters there wasn't a game on cause they don't want to see me butt naked getting out of shower, not a pretty sight i can tell you. But wow what a great room, the rooms turn in to hospitality suites on game days with the bed folding up in to the wall to creat a bar area, brilliant! While i was soaking up the atmosphere of the empty Stadium i saw a man walk out of the team tunnel, walk around the edge of the pitch to the centre line on the opposite side of the stadium with a shiney gold urn, "Can you guess what it is yet?" When there he opened it up and quickly sprinkled the remains of what i guess must have been a supporter who sat over that side of the stadium, never seen that before so it was an added bonus.


Saw Tim Vine from BBC's "Not Going Out" in hotel bar.


Now i'm someone who likes a good priced drink thats why i keep my prices so low in Oceanic but in this place i thought the bar person was holding a gun to my head saying "GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!" So, 2 pints of draught Bass bitter most probably the cheapest bitter you can buy wholesale and 2 single Bacardi's and coke, guess how much? £16 I have now declared myself bankrupt.




So after the weekend it was back to lots of bags and boxes and moving around getting ready for my medical test on the Thursday.


On monday about 8pm i think i must have been possesed by the devil, now with me being a Reverend this would obviously send my body in to a mass explosion of muscle spasms and internal conflict and thats exactly what happened. Not going in to to much detail but what happened to me made the girl in the original exorcist film look like the Tellytubbys, i was so ill. Now i handle illness and pain very well, don't use tablets to help with anything, i just let it run its course but this hurt real bad and couldn't take any medication due to my medical test coming up on the Thursday. This lasted for 3 days and over 3 days i lost 8lb in weight and while i had this illness i had to unpack all my stuff i moved, so my room was a right tip which i hate. Also on the Monday my newest laptop got a virus (not the one i had) and that has gone in to be fixed. 3 hours before i was about to leave for my medical test i fell ill again with muscle spasms and shooting constant pain that took hold of the whole right hand side of the top half my body and i was in so much agony i had to take tablets which then meant i couldn't take my medical test but there was nothing i could do. So instead of this being typed from my fourth home at Simbec this is now from my room.


Update on bars graffiti refurb. My very good friend John (izzy, izzy, izzy, oi, oi, oi!) went and had a look around and sent me some pics of the bar, if i wasn't doing a refurb already it would have cost me about £2000 after replacing the plastic weather tents but they will clean up with anti-graffiti spray anyway and only need them for a month before i bin them for new ones. Lets just say whoever did it their art work sure aint "Banksy" LOL.


The graffiti in my bar. Ok its not but heres a "Banksy"




So thats it for now, all booked up to go back, got my coach and flight for £137 so not bad from Swansea to Zakynthos. time to get myself better for the weekend.


Brr-brr, brr-brr, brr-brr, thats all folks!


Forgot to say, an old timer asked me to change the text colour as they had a problem reading the words LOL! Here you go old man.

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