Friday 3 October 2014

OCEANIC, SEASON 8, EPISODE 12 "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, All in a seasons work"

Howdy Diddly Doodly Doo to you folks.

Well haven't you been lucky not having to put up with my ramblings for so long but never fear, I'm Back!

Bar talk first as usual.

The Good!
All i can say about Sept is, WOW WOW WOW! It was that busy my poor little legs just couldn't run anymore as they had started to seize up so it had to be a jog to the supermarket instead of my Usain Bolt impression. One day i had to stay in all day with my legs up just to recover, well i am 46 now. My brain is willing but my knees are saying "No chance you old git" LOL.

Still, I'm not complaining and wouldn't have it any other way, until i actually collapse i will continue to work the bar alone, why take on staff when i can cope serving all my customers personally.

The cocktails have outsold any other drink by 10 to 1 and most have been my own creations which I'm very pleased the customers enjoy.

My t-shirt sales from the bar alone have now reached 1,007 over 3 seasons. I am amazed and how well they have sold and don't forget new designs are to be added next season so hopefully they will continue to fly out of Spiro's t-shirt shop.

Next season i will be adding short cocktails to the menu (no jokes about my height please). Even though these are not on my menu i have sold loads of fresh Strawberry Daiquiri, BMW, B n B, Manhattan and B52's.
so just to tease you here is one of my very strong B52's.

MMMMMMMMMMMM neat alcohol, not for the faint hearted.


The Bad!
With every season comes the wind down but this season it just dropped off very quickly within 1 change over day in fact. It went from the old road being quite steady with people walking around about 7pm when i open to absolutely no one. Its a good job that most of my custom, 90% in fact comes from the opposite end of the resort. even though Oct is only 3 days old the first 2 days have been great but i think it will be a quieter Oct than last season but hey, anything in Oct is a bonus.

7pm and all is quiet.

The Ugly!
Ha, you thought i was going to go on a rant didn't you, DIDN'T YOU? Well not at all, there hasn't been an ugly side this season, all my customers have been great. I've enjoyed chatting to each and every one and each one has been great company and have made this season Oceanics all time best season by a mile and still got Oct to go. That's not to say i don't get stressed, i do, i want my customers to relax and have the best time possible and that is the first thing on my mind. I never take anything for granted, just look at Aug, for almost 2 weeks it was very bad, just hitting target, in fact it was worse than the first 2 days of Oct this season but Aug all come good at end. So ugly can be put away for another day.

Kevin my Minion is becoming a bit of a superstar with my customers, they no longer want their picture taken with me they want it taken with Kevin. They even buy him gifts like these Minion Iced Biscuits. Again he was over the moon to receive them but he couldn't get the thought of cannibalism out of his head and it was left to me to scoff them down, DON'T MIND IF I DO!


My pool of choice at the moment is the Alexandra Beach Hotel. Nice and quiet, Nice and clean, Nice and Deep and not over crowded. Unfortunately i had to take Kevin and he just doesn't shut up. When I'm at a pool i just like peace and quiet to chill, no chance with my little buddy. Taking gaffer tape next time.


Kevin being the total tourist as he wanted his pic taken with a Minion relative. I had to explain to him it wasn't a Minion it was a Mycenaean, he just blew a raspberry at me and stormed off, what an ass!


The next update will be with a feature of "Kevin the Minions Great Adventure" He's going for it before we head back to the UK.

I came across this unusual shaped building out in the middle of nowhere. I'm making it my goal to go back to it every season to see its progress and to hopefully get to see the finished article, looks very cool.


Now call me "Mr. Normal" but I'm sure this sign means "No entry, Pedestrians only". I think I'm right.


5 seconds after taking the above pic a car and a scooter drove past the sign and went up the pedestrian area.


I remember when the tiles were first laid and it looked beautiful and thought what a great idea to keep it for pedestrians only and it made Alexander Roma shopping street look really nice. Now look at it after no one taking any notice of the signs. Its like this all the way up the shopping street, all broken tiles and patched up. What a waste of time and money.


WE WANT FOOD, WE WANT FOOD! I love food, no i adore food, no, no, i love food. JUST GIVE ME FOOD GOD DAMN IT! The worst thing about living where i do is that i pass every type of take away on my way home from work, Crepes, pastries, gyros, burgers, pizzas, baguettes, you name it i can pick it up.
But i found a new 24 hour food shop and the pastries there are so good, beautiful sausage rolls, shredded chicken with chicken sauce pies, bolognese pies, fresh paninis, mmmmmmmmmmmm all so good. One night i forgot i had bought a loaf of bread, tomatoes and olive and pepper cheese and went on to buy a bolognese pie and sausage roll. What do i do? Do i eat just the pastries? Do i eat just the cheese and tomato on toast? I know I'll eat both. I sliced the loaf down the centre to create 2 giant slices, topped it with tomatoes and added 5 slices of cheese on both. with me making those i thought i better just eat halves of the pastries.


Shortly after devouring the plate above i went to fridge and finished of the other halves of pastries, well, be a shame to eat it the day after, might not taste as good.

GIMME, GIMME, GIMME. I found for the first time ever in 14 years on this island, real Fry's Turkish Delights, was i excited? I almost wet myself. No sooner i had eaten this picture, sorry, i mean taken this picture, i had eaten all 4 in one afternoon. MORE PLEASE!


I'm in heaven, on the same day i found the Turkish delight i found "Dunkable Luxury Chocolate Biscuits"
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH! FEED ME SEYMORE! I couldn't wait to rip this packet open and start a dunking.


Woh, Woh, Woh.......What the hell is this? These could only be Luxury Biscuits to a down and out. They were all mangled, chocolate missing and one even looked half eaten. This is not good.


No this is not me holding a lump of poop, its what we call in the food business as a "collective of biscuits" or in normal teams "A mess". How is this dunkable? What do i have to drink my tea out of, a bucket?


I was so excited at seeing the large lettering of "Dunkable Luxury Biscuits" i missed the small print "An assortment of whole, mis-shaped and part biscuits" Bloody small print spoilt my dunking. Also it stated "Coated with real chocolate" Is there any other kind? "That's not a chocolate bar its just impersonating a chocolate bar" LOL.

Well my lovely, amazing blog followers that's it for this update and the next one will be a bumper edition before i leave the rock to head home.

So until my final update for this season,

Serve All. Love All, Peace All, Kevlar Out!

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